backslide

i hated him for you

scraped the insides of his integrity and checked for the truth

void.

probing,

engaging every morsel

where in that space, injections of secrets overdosed

and paralyzed perceptive mediums 

while distortions advanced

plunging into love

wounded and bare

i reflected through your many locks and prayed for his assassination

i hated him for you

and never projected beams of fury that potent before…

distorted sound patterns float atop  beige sheets like dew on shady roads

filling my ears with ringing cries

weeping.

i’m there when he’s not

it still swells though…

cramming anger into the barrel of my finger tips hoping to touch him away…

…the small of my back aches

and the pain shoots to the nape of my neck in seconds

jolting my greatest fears

but you’re still beautiful

even in your weakness